My Wife on Mother’s Day

Statue of mother with children at the Monumental Cemetery of Staglieno

A few days ago I remembered my own mother on the centennial of her birth.  But on this Mother’s day, I’d like to acknowledge my wife Jane, for her lifetime of loving mothering.

Jane lost her own mother to cancer when she was just a teenager and she spent countless hours caring for her ailing mother. Devastated by that loss she proceeded to chart her own independent life course—one in which she became, as Dickens said of Copperfield, the hero of her own life.

Jane’s parental style is characterized by unconditional love. To this day they are never far from her mind. She still tries to shield them from life’s pain and labors to the point of exhaustion on their behalf. Her only wish? That she had more hands and more time.

She does all this because that’s the life she chooses. That is where her joy is—in service and sacrifice. You can psychoanalyze all you want. Maybe she should take her life’s savings and travel the world. Perhaps she should pursue art or music or writing. Perhaps.

But perhaps we need more people in this world who love unconditionally. Maybe we need more saints and fewer sinners. Maybe in giving we truly do receive. All I know is that the world is a better place because of her lovely soul. If love is the answer then Jane is part of the answer.

There is so much ugliness in this world. So how lucky for me and my children that we have been surrounded by her love. She is truly “a lily among the thistles.”

Lilium candidum 1.jpg

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7 thoughts on “My Wife on Mother’s Day

  1. Memories of my caring, kind gracious gentle affectionate Asokamalie , my Beloved Wife , whose whole life was dedicated to helping and unselfishly looking after me and my two sons, her aged parents and mine, our servants and all who were fortunate to need her . Bless her beautiful heart which was reflected in her lovely smile .

  2. You are welcome Thank you for the opportunity to pay my humble and loving tribute to my sweet wife who inspired me to do what I could to mitigate the inequalities all around and stand up to defend the basic rights of the poor and disadvantaged in my professional work as a lawyer in Sri Lanka as well as in the U.K. We are fortunate to have such kind caring and compassionate wives. Would like to invite you and your wife to lunch at Lincoln’s Inn whenever you are free . My email is fritzkodagoda@icloud.com
    Kind Regards
    Fritz

  3. Poignant article, and Mr. Kodagoda’s comment. Now for another long-winded meditation.

    “But perhaps we need more people in this world who love unconditionally. Maybe we need more saints and fewer sinners […] All I know is that the world is a better place because of her lovely soul. If love is the answer then Jane is part of the answer.”

    Love is the answer yet though love sells, few are buying (to put it crudely for brevity).
    Words have different meanings to everyone. Some think love is another mortal; some
    think love is Jesus; some think love is Muhammad the messenger of Allah; some think love is Satan. Some think love is a plastic dildo. Some think ‘Coke is IT’.. some think cocaine is ‘It’. Any number of ‘things’. Less consensus as things evolve and differentiate.

    “Maybe in giving we truly do receive.’

    Actually, no good deed goes unpunished, however such is far too complicated to discuss: it gets back to ‘less consensus as things evolve and differentiate’.
    ————————————————-
    At R & M you have a nice mix of philosophy and personal; this is my second favorite website. IEET is the first but now with the muddled political situation, am taking a break from science-oriented sites until the middle of the next decade. Too incongruous to think about the turmoil of today, plus that which is science-related. Love is the answer and the best ‘thing’; unfortunately for Goodness, science is now more important. Can’t serve two masters, can’t serve the god of science and also the Good. (Or God.)

  4. “Alan, thanks for the nice compliments about the site.”

    Since no good deed goes unpunished, am going to return your thanks with one more comment:

    “Maybe she should take her life’s savings and travel the world. Perhaps she should pursue art or music or writing. Perhaps.”

    What I like best about spirituality is how someone can accept their role, without having to constantly say to themselves,

    “what should I being doing instead?”

    This is second guessing oneself…

    “You can psychoanalyze all you want”

    …Second guessing oneself is psychoanalyzing oneself.
    As anyone who would come to a site like R & M knows, spirituality is oversimplification; all the same, anthropic goodness is based on simplicity.
    You don’t want to write poetry similar to that of Data in Star Trek,

    Earlobe, one-half inches
    cosmic winches
    Electronic switches
    are my business.

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